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This is Kabab Koobideh, a Persian dish, but this is actually a post about my encounter with Kabab Nazi.
Please take note that this post is written in a tongue-and-cheek tone and it’s not intended to insult or show disrespect to anyone.
Once upon a time ago, I had a favorite joint for work lunch, a Persian buffet restaurant just a stone’s throw away from my office. I went there for the sole purpose of stuffing myself silly with their Kabab Koobideh (then I didn’t know the name so I referred the kabab as minced meat thingy).
The thing about buffet is “ALL YOU CAN EAT,” so I would refill my plate at least 3 – 5 times (depends how hungry I was) just for the sinfully good kabab served at the restaurant. I went there religiously–at least once or twice a week–I couldn’t help it because I was addicted to the kabab.
One fine day, I went to the restaurant but Kabab Koobideh was nowhere to be found on the buffet table. Poof. Disappeared. Vanished. Gone.
Utterly confused (and hungry), I went up to the restaurant owner (AKA Kabab Nazi) and demanded an answer…
(Because of my regular visits and my insatiable appetite, I am sure Kabab Nazi had me blacklisted as a customer with negative LTV or lifetime value, meaning he would rather not have me as his customer! In fact, I recall him eyeballing me when I made frequent trips to the buffet table and loaded my plate full with kababs!)
“Hi, where is your minced meat thingy today?”
“Sorry, we no longer serve that for buffet. You can order it from our menu if you want.” Kabab Nazi replied, with an evil smirk on his face, I saw it.
The famed episode of Seinfeld’s The Soup Nazi (if you haven’t yet seen it, you should watch this funny clip!) was reeling in my head upon hearing his answer. “NO KABAB FOR YOU!“ echoed in my ears.
“Huh? You mean you no longer serve it on buffet, WHY? That’s the only reason I come here!”
“I’ve decided not to serve it for buffet anymore.” Another Dr. Evil smirk on Kabab Nazi’s face.
“Fine. Then I don’t want to eat here.”
I stormed out of the restaurant; I resolved not to go back again. Now people, this is not about money, it’s a matter of principle. HELLO!
As a buffet restaurant, you just don’t stop serving your signature dish, do you? This is like an Indian buffet restaurant not serving tandoori chicken or Chinese buffet without egg rolls. This is absolutely wrong.
Many moons passed and I didn’t go back to the restaurant because I am sure that Kabab Nazi would sneer at me if he sees me crawling back for his kabab.
I contained my craving; I tried not to walk past the restaurant; I told my colleagues “No thanks” when they wanted to go there; I stayed away.
And then, one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have that kabab, even though I had to lose my pride (and dignity). I called Kabab Nazi.
“Hi there, I am going to order that minced-meat-grilled-kabab-thingy, what’s the name of that dish?”
“Kabab Koobideh…”
CLICK.
I hung up on him. Hah, that’s for not serving it on buffet again.
Immediately I googled for the recipe and found it here. I rushed to the nearest store, assembled all the ingredients, and started cooking.
Needless to say, I devoured the kababs with great satisfacion as soon as they were out of the grill. My stomach was in wonderland…
One thing flashed through my mind when I was done savoring my Kabab Koodideh–“Give a man a fish; you feed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”
Now I can make buffet-style-unlimited-refill Kabab Koobideh for a lifetime, every day, or anytime I want.
That’s my sweetest revenge to Kabab Nazi, and perhaps I should pull this Seinfeld’s stunt on him. ;)
How Many Calories per Serving?
This recipe is only 312 calories per serving.
What Dishes to Serve with This Recipe?
For a wholesome meal and easy weeknight dinner, I recommend the following recipes.
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Kabab Koobideh
Equipment
- metal skewers
Ingredients
- 1 lb. ground meat, beef, lamb, or chicken
- 1/2 onion (finely diced)
- parsley leaves (finely chopped)
- 1/2 teaspoon salt (if you like salty, add a little more)
- 1/2 tablespoon turmeric powder
- 1 egg
- few dashes black pepper powder
- cooking oil for brushing purposes
Instructions
- Put the meat, egg, turmeric powder, and salt into a food processor and blend quickly. Transfer the meat to a bowl and mix well with the diced onion and chopped parsley. Chill the meat in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes (this is to make sure that it's easier to thread the meat onto the skewers).
- Fire up your grill and thread the meat onto regular metal skewers or flat metal skewers (preferred). Brush the kabob with some oil and grill until they are cooked. Serve hot.
Notes
Nutrition
Notice: Nutrition is auto-calculated, using Spoonacular, for your convenience. Where relevant, we recommend using your own nutrition calculations.
People today are too dang sensitive, all Ive read in this post is a bunch of whiney(cheese with that?) ppl, get over yourself and have a laugh from time to time…. my country this… my people that… SHUT UP and eat lol
Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea
shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants
to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
LMBO!!
You are so Asian eating up all of the expensive protein. The guy has to make a living and relies on customers being reasonable when eating the buffet. Glad he removed and you shouldn’t get so huffy when the guy and his family are trying to make a living.
My parents used to own a Chinese buffet restaurant and I experienced horrible customers like you that caused much anguish for my parents.
Balance.
First of all this is coming from an Iranian’s perspective. There are many things that bother me about this story. First off, the obvious is thing is that you’re walking into a Persian restaurant (we are very proud of our culture) and calling our prized dish “minced meat kabab thingy”. Makes you sound like some dumb ignorant American and what’s worse is you are some other ethnicity yourself so I would think you would at least understand that.
Secondly, calling this man a Nazi because he didn’t serve unlimited amounts of what you wanted is very disrespectful. It makes you sound like a very resentful person and you are just insulting some guy on the internet that has no chance to defend himself.
Lastly, the picture you have of the koobideh looks atrocious. It’s not the easiest dish to make and takes practice but jesus christ, I did better on my first time and I’m not involved in the food industry.
I apologize if this came off harsh but when you put out an internet article disrespecting a country full of proud people you need to expect feedback.
Hi Actual Iranian – my article was written in a “tongue-and-cheek” tone, just like many of my articles on this site…this is the writing style I chose for this particular story-telling. It was not meant to show any disrespect or insult to your community but my goofy way of expressing how much I love this dish. The “Nazi” reference is a reference to Sienfeld Soup Nazi, one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes. This post was published in 2007 and it was my first time EVER making Persian food. I didn’t have the right flat skewers to make this dish, and it was my best attempt (back then) to make my favorite Persian dish following the recipe I found online. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Persian food and I have many Persian friends and I adore your country, culture, and the amazing food. 7 years fast forward to present days, had I made this dish again, it would be very different from what you see here as time hones my skills and my knowledge on making this dish. Just look at it this way, take a Persian who is not familiar with Chinese food, he/she might not know the exact name/spelling/pronunciation of say “General Tso’s Chicken” or “Kung Pao Chicken.” And if he/she tries to dish for the first time, it might not look like how it really is. The greatest thing about cooking outside your own culture is that through trials and errors in cooking, you get to appreciate and learn more and more about the cuisines outside your own…and I think this is a very good thing, despite how atrocious it might be your first attempt as you can only get better from there. That being said I do know how to make a proper Kabab Koobideh now and one of these days I will update this recipe and the photos and give justice to this favorite dish of mine. I do know that this recipe and photos do not do any justice to your wonderful and amazing dish that is kabab koobideh. Thanks for your understanding.
Fair enough now I feel like the a hole. You can take down my original post…if you have iranian friends then you know how we get passionate about this stuff./
Actual Iranian, don’t worry, of course we get so passionate about our culture and food because we love it so much. It’s all good, don’t worry about it. Happy eating and cooking. :)
I’d love to see that new kebab koobideh recipe please!!
For God sake, buy a sense of humor!!! He did say it “was his perspective only, and not meant to offend anyone”. I wonder how many Christians you offended by taking our Lords name in vane!! By the way…his wonderous name is Jesus Christ!!!
Who are you speak of the Lord without a proper consonant?
How dare you turn this into a Crusade!