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This is Kabab Koobideh, a Persian dish, but this is actually a post about my encounter with Kabab Nazi. It’s a fun post because I put in some effort to write it, so I beg you to read on.
Once upon a time ago, I had a favorite joint for work lunch, a Persian buffet restaurant just a stone’s throw away from my office. I went there for the sole purpose of stuffing myself silly with their Kabab Koobideh (then I didn’t know the name so I referred the kabab as minced meat thingy). The thing about buffet is “ALL YOU CAN EAT,” so I would refill my plate at least 3 – 5 times (depends how hungry I was) just for the sinfully good kabab served at the restaurant. I went there religiously–at least once or twice a week–I couldn’t help it because I was addicted to the kabab.
One fine day, I went to the restaurant but Kabab Koobideh was nowhere to be found on the buffet table. Poof. Disappeared. Vanished. Gone.
Utterly confused (and hungry), I went up to the restaurant owner (AKA Kabab Nazi) and demanded an answer…
(Because of my regular visits and my insatiable appetite, I am sure Kabab Nazi had me blacklisted as a customer with negative LTV or lifetime value, meaning he would rather not have me as his customer! In fact, I recall him eyeballing me when I made frequent trips to the buffet table and loaded my plate full with kababs!)
“Hi, where is your minced meat thingy today?”
“Sorry, we no longer serve that for buffet. You can order it from our menu if you want.” Kabab Nazi replied, with an evil smirk on his face, I saw it.
The famed episode of Seinfeld’s The Soup Nazi (if you haven’t yet seen it, you should watch this funny clip!) was reeling in my head upon hearing his answer. “NO KABAB FOR YOU!“ echoed in my ears.
“Huh? You mean you no longer serve it on buffet, WHY? That’s the only reason I come here!”
“I’ve decided not to serve it for buffet anymore.” Another Dr. Evil smirk on Kabab Nazi’s face.
“Fine. Then I don’t want to eat here.”
I stormed out of the restaurant; I resolved not to go back again. Now people, this is not about money, it’s a matter of principle. HELLO! As a buffet restaurant, you just don’t stop serving your signature dish, do you? This is like an Indian buffet restaurant not serving tandoori chicken or Chinese buffet without egg rolls. This is absolutely wrong.
Many moons passed and I didn’t go back to the restaurant because I am sure that Kabab Nazi would sneer at me if he sees me crawling back for his kabab. I contained my craving; I tried not to walk past the restaurant; I told my colleagues “No thanks” when they wanted to go there; I stayed away.
And then, one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have that kabab, even though I had to lose my pride (and dignity). I called Kabab Nazi.
“Hi there, I am going to order that minced-meat-grilled-kabab-thingy, what’s the name of that dish?”
“Kabab Koobideh…”
CLICK.
I hung up on him. Hah, that’s for not serving it on buffet again.
Immediately I googled for the recipe and found it here. I rushed to the nearest store, assembled all the ingredients, and started cooking.
Needless to say, I devoured the kababs with great satisfacion as soon as they were out of the grill. My stomach was in wonderland…
One thing flashed through my mind when I was done savoring my Kabab Koodideh–”Give a man a fish; you feed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”
Now I can make buffet-style-unlimited-refill Kabab Koobideh for a lifetime, every day, or anytime I want.
That’s my sweetest revenge to Kabab Nazi, and perhaps I should pull this Seinfeld’s stunt on him. ;)
(Click Page 2 for the Kabab Koobideh Recipe )
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Hey there…just found your blog through food blog desam.
Nice post….enjoyed reading it. Like you, Iam a fellow Seinfeld fan….I never get tired of watching the reruns.
Hip Hip Hooray, Good on you.
We have gained a delicious recipe through your action !
Helen
may i know what camera u r using?
i love ur photo shoot! :)
drooling..
That story is hi-lar-ious!
This looks like an amazing snack, I like it a lot! Thanks for stopping by, I’ll be checking in.
Cheers
David
You lost, you let it bother you too much. Have a Kabab, a smile, and a deep breath.
What an interesting dish kabab koobideh and becaus eof tht I will try your kabab koobideh recipe.
Sad they turned away a customer like that. For every big eater there is a guest or two that may come with them that are more like 1 plate people. So you lose one you may lose another. From the sounds of the recipe it does not seem that costly to make. I’ve seen them do this at a pizza buffet once where no one was eating the mushroom pizza so they started puttig it on every pizza they brought out. To me that just creates waste when they will just throw it out when it does not get eating. I for one love mushrooms so was not an issue for me. Thanks for the recipe …will have to try it. sounds great.
This is the answer to the person who wrote the recipe about the KABOB KOOBIDEH. This is not what I say but what thousands of people said, I am if not the best but one of the best KOOBEDEH makers in USA CALIFORNIA!!! Remember I never said, I am the best.
Anyway, the RECIPE it is close the original but not the original!! You are not making (KOTLET) or (KOOFTEH)!! So you don’t need (EGG)!!! (FLOUR)!!! (TO put in REFRIGRATE) And things like this!! All you need it is the good beef!! Do you know why you mix it with ONION? Just to take the smell of the BEEF away, anything you add in to it, it is by the choice of the maker, otherwise it is all in your PALM of your HAND, HOW TO PUT IT ON SKEWER (SIKH), You can put on Skewer directly when you bring it home from Market, ITS all in your PALM, this is not something to explain but to see and learn!! All you need to mix is Meat, Onion, salt and pepper, This is the basic of the KOOBIDEH, then you must learn from the start the METHOD of how to put on SKEWER, that is the fist step! So it wouldn’t FALL off the SKEWER, then to learn when you are broiling it, how to keep it on FIRE so it would’t Fall off, I SAY TO MAKE A KOOBIDEH, IT IS AN ART OF COOKING FROM THE START TO THE END. My customers were all the Iranian STARS, and all over the USA. I learnt from MR. HOSSAYNI, the most FAMOUS KABOBI of USA.
Cute story!I’m intrigued by how the kebabs at the local Iranian joints here are so moist and flavorful, now I figure it must be all that grated onion! Thanks for sourcing the recipe , I am mos def going to try this!
P.S. That Iranian recipe link is great too!
Yes, I think onion is the trick for the juiciness.
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i’m iranian and this is not kabab koobideh!!!!!!!! you have to try kabab koobideh not this!!
Sense of entitlement much? What a bratty customer you are, for not getting what you want. I’m sure the owner was crying when you never came back. NOT. He probably thought, ‘Good riddance!’
I went out and bought all the ingredients. I can’t wait to make some kabab koobideh.
Kimberly Cameron Valencia CA
I tried this recipe yesterday and it turned out fantastic! I had turkey burger on-hand, so that’s what I used. I added garlic, onion powder, paprika and used dried parsley. I also added the chopped onion into the blending process. I found that the meat was a little difficult to work with (really sticky and messy), but the effort was well worth it!! It turned out delicious!!! Here is the recipe I created after getting these great ideas from you!!
http://kimberlycameronvalenciacarecipes.blogspot.com/2013/04/turkey-burger-persian-kebab-koobideh.html
Thanks so much for the recipe! I LOVED it!!!